Two Fingers

Two fingers
Over the heart

Lips smitten with blood

A fresh start

award

voracious ripping into oblivion push yourself through my skin smooth and white a visage in spite but who benefits from this beating into

nothing

what if we just stopped and waited and i became

real again

why am i looking for approval when i dismiss every painted splintered boy there’s a pearl on the horizon but it always snaps shut never sure enough

oh this is alright

i know how it works supply the jerks take the ride no harm done but it’s never finished always rolling eyes back into exposed spines and embarrassing declarations

why so much fuss to see you naked?

what doesn’t come with a prices hides a promise never kept who can save nothing from nothing else never a bridesmaid it’s only my pride

stop pushing

(a little transfixed after midnight)

The sun begins and ends
with you.

This cool meltdown,
dripping its watery ink,
melting in your profile --
disorder distinct.

I am accepted into
your warm, grey
shelter.

Many times like these,
it seems,
break my heart
to dream,

Lyrical

No words can embrace
this understanding
this wait is still
far too demanding

Watch for an ancient train
that won't go off
the rails
but can't stay in the lane

How much do I pray
in private pain
I need a warm body

Don't Say That

I fell in love with
you,
who asked me
not to

what could be more painful than that?

a life sentence

A-Z

I have your
straight razor
hidden
in a green drawer
-- in case of
emergency

In times of
greater
lucidity,
I'd rather have
your heart

Death at Xmas

It could take more time than I have
to build me back up again
The hustle and bustle just makes the trivial
less fulfilling

Selfish depression makes it
hard to breathe
in the snow and the sleet and
oh well you love her
she's just so sweet

I think about my friend,
worrying about a gift for his daughter
-- if it will suffice

Well, some things are nice.

Sticker

Wear it and think of me
A forgotten token
No words between us
left unspoken

But your jealousy
would not allow my discrepancies

Pain is imminent, yet we allow it

The predictable thud of the monogamous heart

Why do you think we'd be better in a box?
Pasted with forced whimsy and childish effects

I don't want to be missing anybody

The Moon

Oh my moon
tense and shaken
bones growing backwards

Can my love really save you?
Swallow you
whole
keep you
safe

The smell of beer on your smiling face is enough
to keep me
occupied

Your
young body
and words wise
could strangle my will

Let's run away
I've lassoed the moon

You owe my heart
still

The Concealment

There are things the heart remembers

A lean in,
the flat line

The years unfurl,
the shaking subsides

Onyx-tarnished tulips all cast aside

We are here now,
where small animals curl up
and gather

And this, my love,
is all that matters

25 mins

he's coming

in twenty five minutes

death-lover
churner of innards

he's coming

in bells and whistles
white hands
my tattooed fate
and i'll swoon over him
offer some leftovers

but it will be too late

Shoebox

I don't want fields of roses and your hand in mine
I'll die alone in a shoebox and everything will be fine

No legacy
No leftovers to reheat while
contemplating the razor

This princess, awake with
bruises on her thighs and black eyes,
too ashamed to face yours
too many promises

A ring of salt around my heart won't turn you to gold

Off and On

Grey smudges
on the screen
flashing circles --
blue and green

I trace the pattern of your languid face
with my fingers
Introverted indifference
covering your eyes, a gentle death

Grey smudges
are not something to depend on --
Like threats and promises

Nothing to mention
Nothing at all

I love you

Remnants

If you died tomorrow
I would send flowers
which probably wouldn't arrive

I'd sweep away
the remnants
and run out of time

Hands around my neck
lowered green eyes

back and forth

i'm building
a pillow fortress
a bridge across
the unforgiving
abyss



a dark and tearful
tunnel



i follow the water
to the pale, white light at the end



and we smile,
no screens separating
the stars in our eyes



two weirdos
clinging desperately
to split hairs

fools on the stairs

bloody memories
clouding my vision
i stumble towards you

variations on a theme

variations on a theme
are all i seem to do

thumping like mad
banging on flesh
to try and get a tune

but nothing sounds like you
what am i to do?

Just A Letter

i want to fuck you out of my memory
but we all know
it does not work that way
you're deep in the recesses
safe from bravado, tears,
and excesses

you're my living end in a shiny red convertible
if death were tall, dark, and impossible --
babe, you'd be ringing

fetish

hardening flesh
rub against the soft
rush of fabric
suited up
boots polished
ready for your orders,
mein herr

Ms. Pitiful

11 O'clock
I played
Otis Redding
for you
on the jukebox

No reply

Message received

it all goes back to the belt

beat me

give me meaning

leave me bleeding

mouth agape

eyes mirroring

pouring wounds

screaming rape

and wishing for more...